22nd October 06, 11:28

I was woken from my sleep by a call from him. I could have slept longer if he hadn't called at 10 plus am (belgian time), but I have to say that it was a pleasant surprise to hear from him. At least he didn't forget me, his friend for years eventhough he has a girlfriend. He said he had given tuition around my area, so stopped by at my place to meet up with me. It made me happy, thinking if he called me out because my birthday is around the corner, but I told him I'm overseas so we'll have to meet up at another day. He as usual, thick-skinned as he always have been, asked me to bring something back for him. How can someone be so not pai say huh? I just dun understand...

Today is laundry day. I went to have my sheets & jeans washed and eventually headed back. Upon reaching my room, my dear bim called. She misses me then started crying. I almost cried too because I can't be there for her when she needed someone most & to think she thought of me first. I so wish that I could give a punch to the jerk, not that violence could change anything or make things better, but it's the moment of giving it to him; that moment I know I am tougher & stronger than him, makes me feel good. I been wanting to do this for years, he better be thankful that I ain't in Singapore to give it to him (not that I can win him, but I wanna do it for my friend).

I can't say much over the phone, but I hope I did my best in keeping her focused & be a strong person. Take time to cry, it's your right & it doesn't mean you are weak, it's just that the pain is too deep; too deep for you to bear. So let time heal you, give yourself the time you need; dun force yourself to forget coz you nv will, a scar is left behind to remind you of your hurt but I always see the positive side of a scar - it reminds of our pain in the past, so dun follow the same path that had brought you pain. It juz means you didn't learn from your mistakes; it also reminds us not to treat others the way that we have suffered coz no one deserves such treatment; it also reminds us that a scar heals not by ourselves, but with God, family & friends, people who loves us that's why we are mentally strong enough to want to fight the pain & let it heal. Everything has an upside & downside to it - what matters is which perspective you wanna take when you experience pain! If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger.
This is for you bim:

"When we are struck at without a reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we should - so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do it again."

quoted from Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

I'm telling you to do anything to the jerk, but ignoring him & not doing anything is also a way of striking back. Heck whatever he says...anyone can say that, I can also to lip service *hee* but actions speak louder than words. Dun carry this burden by yourself, remember FOOTPRINTS? yupz! Let Him take over okie? I love you sis, so love yourself too!

Here I also wanna thank Xuan for cooking me a good dinner. She cooked moi my favourite black fungus with dao kee (a luxury good over here coz it's expensive) & vegetables. I was surprised coz I was expecting to be cooking too only to find out that everything was ready. That was really nice of her. Also...thank you all who have left me a msg in msn, sms, phone...thank you! As I'm blogging this entry, Ms Leow called moi as it's midnight over here...haha & that means she have to head for school. Thankz bim!